R.I.P. Chi Chi

I'm not good wit this... but it sure beats saying it. Probably the hardest thing I have to deal with is wondering what life would have been like if my father and my best friend were still alive. How would life be like rite now? that question is infinite. I feel like time is moving fast, but at the same time moving slow. I'm impatient, yet life flashes by with a blink of an eye. I feel like I need to make progress, but I need a break, relaxation. When my pops past away 3 years ago I felt like somebody took a big machete and cut my roots that help me grow. Now that my dude Ricky past away its like as I began to grow new roots and some fat kid with a jelly donut blocked the sun. But why stop growing? I was listening to the N.E.R.D. record "Love Bomb" and the first verse Pharrell says something like:

Why make life taking planes
I believe, that when you lose your root
Choose the sunlight
It could be your guide...

that was like the dopest thing ever to me at that time. You can take that line from many different perspectives but I felt like my prayers were heard when this record dropped. Whats even crazier is the CD dropped two days after Rickys accident, before I took off to New York. So how do you continue life with somebody you see almost everyday like a sibling? I know imma jus do me cuz thats what Chi Chi enjoyed most being a free spirit. Never a dull moment when we in the house, we always on some (what he like to call) "Rob and Big shit" jus say something and do it.(minus the silly money to play with lol) it's been real. Beyond real, damn near unreal, and what happened on June 8th that morning to me was "unreal." I felt like I lost the only person in the world that knew me almost better than me. I want to make him proud and I miss him dearly.


R.I.P. Ricky Rivera a.k.a. Chi Chi
June 30th 1985-
June 08, 2008
"celebrating life"